Unapologetically Embracing Autism: A Mother's Journey of Love and Discovery

 

The Beginning of Our Story

Life has a way of surprising us with its most precious gifts when we least expect them. After experiencing the heartbreak of a miscarriage in April 2013, I never thought I would have children. But in October 2013, just weeks before my 40th birthday, I received news that would change my life forever: I was pregnant with my son, Cortland.

The Night That Changed Everything

The journey began with celebration. On November 7th, I enjoyed dinner with friends, and that Sunday, November 10th, I gathered with family at my mother's house. What started as a peaceful evening watching The Kardashians quickly turned into a night of terror when I experienced a severe hemorrhage that threatened both my life and my unborn child's.

Fighting for Life

At the emergency room, the medical team ran tests and performed ultrasounds. They were so concerned about the possibility of another miscarriage that they wouldn't let me hear the heartbeat, even though it was there. The next morning, my doctor confirmed what we had hoped for – my baby's heartbeat was strong. We discovered that my placenta and uterus hadn't properly fused, causing the hemorrhage. She prescribed medication to help them bond, and thus began my 20-week journey of strict bed rest.

The Journey to Birth

For those long weeks, my life consisted of nothing more than essential movements – getting up only to bathe, then back to bed. Twice-weekly doctor visits became my new normal. But with each passing week, Cortland grew stronger. At 20 weeks, we learned we were having a beautiful baby boy. The countdown continued: 30 weeks, then 35 weeks, and all the while, my little warrior kept growing and thriving.

A New Chapter Begins

On June 20th, 2014, I experienced the happiest day of my life. Due to the earlier hemorrhage and a fibroid blocking the birth canal, Cortland was delivered via cesarean section. He arrived perfect and healthy: 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and 21 inches long. My miracle baby was finally here.

The Power of November 10th: A Day That Changed Everything

As I write this today, on November 10th, 2024, I can't help but be struck by the significance of this date. As  I stated, exactly eleven years ago, I sat in my bed watching TV, unaware that the next few hours would test my strength in ways I never imagined. That night in 2013, as I rushed to the emergency room with a severe hemorrhage, I didn't know if my precious baby would survive. The fear, the uncertainty, the desperate prayers – they're all still vivid in my memory.

But here's what makes this date so powerful: it marks not just a moment of crisis, but the beginning of my journey into a strength I didn't know I possessed. That night taught me that I could face anything – 20 weeks of bed rest, countless doctor visits, uncertainty at every turn – all for the love of my unborn child. Looking back now, I realize it was preparing me for every challenge that would follow.

Our Autism Journey

When Cortland turned two, we faced a new chapter in our journey. He experienced a regression that led us to begin the process of evaluation for autism spectrum disorder. But let me be clear about something: I don't believe the complications during my pregnancy caused my son's autism. In fact, I don't view his autism as something that needs an explanation or a cause.

Embracing Our Unique Path

The journey of autism acceptance isn't always easy, but it's infinitely rewarding. As we began the evaluation process, I made a conscious decision to approach this chapter of our lives not as a challenge to overcome, but as an opportunity to understand and celebrate my son exactly as he is. Each day brings new discoveries – about Cortland, about myself as a mother, and about the beautiful way his mind works.

Living with Purpose and Pride

When we received Cortland's autism diagnosis years later, I drew upon the same well of strength that got me through that terrifying November night. The same determination that kept me on strict bed rest for 20 weeks is what drives me now to advocate for my son, to celebrate his uniqueness, and to face any challenge that comes our way with unwavering resolve.

A Message of Hope

To other parents just beginning this journey: know that your child's autism is not a tragedy. It's not something that happened to you or to them – it's simply part of who they are, just as their eye color, their laugh, or their personality is part of them. Your child doesn't need to be fixed or changed; they need to be understood, supported, and loved unconditionally.