Unapologetically Embracing Autism: Why "Just Eat What I Fix" Doesn't Work for Us

 

In our household, we don't do the "eat what I fix or go hungry" routine. We embrace neurodiversity, and that means embracing different eating habits too. My autistic son has his own unique relationship with food, and you know what? That's perfectly okay. And yes, regardless of what I say, I have to have McDonald's money at the ready - because sometimes, that's just what works.

The Reality of Autism and Food

For many autistic individuals, food isn't just about taste—it's about texture, smell, color, and even the way it's arranged on the plate. Sensory sensitivities can make certain foods genuinely unpleasant or even intolerable. This isn't pickiness; it's a fundamental aspect of how their brains process sensory information.

The crunch of a raw vegetable might be overwhelmingly loud to them. The smell of certain spices could be nauseating. The sight of different foods touching on a plate might trigger anxiety. These aren't preferences - they're genuine, physiological reactions that can cause real distress.

And let's be real - sometimes, the only thing that works is a familiar McDonald's Happy Meal. It's consistent, it's predictable, and it's a safe harbor in the storm of sensory overwhelm that can be daily life for an autistic person.

Why We Offer Choices

1. **Respecting Autonomy**

Offering meal choices gives my son control over an important aspect of his life. In a world where so much can feel overwhelming and out of control, being able to choose what goes into his body is empowering. It's a small act that says, "Your preferences matter. Your comfort matters. You matter."

2. **Reducing Anxiety**

Knowing there will always be something he can eat reduces mealtime stress. Imagine sitting down to a table where everything on offer is potentially distressing - that's what mealtimes can feel like without safe options available. By ensuring there's always something familiar and comfortable, we turn mealtimes from a battlefield into a peaceful family gathering.

3. **Encouraging Exploration**

With safe options available, he's more likely to try new foods on his own terms. When there's no pressure to eat something unfamiliar, curiosity can take over. We've had surprise moments where he's reached out to try something new, simply because he felt secure knowing he had a backup option.

4. **Nutrition**

Ensuring he eats *something* is more important than battling over specific foods. Proper nutrition is crucial for growth and development, and sometimes that means prioritizing calories and basic nutrients over a perfectly balanced meal. A chicken nugget dinner is better than no dinner at all.

5. **Fostering Independence** 

By involving him in meal planning and preparation when possible, we're teaching valuable life skills. Maybe today it's choosing between two dinner options, but tomorrow it could be learning to make a simple meal for himself.

It's Not About Being a Short-Order Cook

I'm not running a restaurant, but I am running a household that values each member's needs. Sometimes this means having a few go-to alternatives on hand. Other times, it's about finding creative ways to serve the same basic meal in different forms.

We've become masters of deconstruction - serving components of a meal separately instead of mixed together. We've learned the art of the "food bridge" - gradually introducing new foods that are similar to preferred ones. And yes, sometimes it means having that McDonald's money ready, because on tough days, a familiar Happy Meal can be the difference between a nourished child and a meltdown.

The Bigger Picture

By accommodating my son's needs around food, I'm teaching him that:

- His experiences and feelings are valid

- Home is a safe place where his needs are met

- Problem-solving and flexibility are valuable life skills

- Self-advocacy is important and respected

- Different isn't less - it's just different

This approach isn't just about food. It's about building trust, fostering communication, and creating an environment where he feels understood and accepted. These are foundations that will serve him well beyond the dinner table.

To the Critics-With Your LOUD  OPINIONS

To those who say, "In my day, kids ate what they were given," I say: In your day, we also didn't understand autism like we do now. We know better, so we do better. My job as a parent isn't to force conformity; it's to help my child thrive in a world that isn't always built for him.

And to those who might judge the occasional fast food run or the seemingly limited menu, I say: You don't know our journey. You don't see the victories in every bite of a new food, the relief in finding a reliable option on tough sensory days, or the joy in a peaceful family meal. 

Our approach might not be conventional, but it's built on love, understanding, and respect for our child's unique needs. And if that means keeping McDonald's money in my pocket at all times, then so be it. I'll wear that badge with pride.

Embracing autism means embracing all of it—including the parts that make mealtimes a bit more complicated. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Because when I see my son enjoying his meal, comfortable and happy at our table, I know we're doing something right. Whether it's a home-cooked meal or a Happy Meal, what matters most is that we're nourishing not just his body, but his sense of self-worth and belonging.