Embracing Our Journey: Autism, Language, and Finding Our Voice

 As a parent, all you ever want to hear are your baby's first words. You long to hear them say your name for the first time or to hear "I love you." I was fortunate enough to hear Cortland say "Mama" first, and I'm eternally grateful that God allowed me that moment. Little did I know that a year later, he would lose what vocabulary he had – one of the key signs of Autism.

When Cortland was diagnosed with autism, it was just the beginning of our journey. Soon after, we learned he also had both receptive and expressive language disorders. This combination presented unique challenges in our quest to help Cortland communicate.

Having a nonverbal child is challenging, but I never allowed it to defeat us. Before we got his Autism diagnosis, we were approved for speech therapy. We started learning sign language, but Cortland resisted like crazy. It proved to be difficult because at times it was simply hard to know what he wanted or needed.

We tried everything - visual boards, an expensive program called GemIInI, and anything else we could think of. GemIInI seemed to resonate with Cortland, and he began to mimic words. That's when we first encountered echolalia – "the unsolicited repetition of vocalizations made by another person."

For those unfamiliar, echolalia is when a child repeats words or phrases they've heard, often without understanding their meaning. For example, if I asked, "Do you want a cookie?", Cortland might just repeat "cookie" instead of saying yes. To be honest, echolalia can be frustrating at times, especially for those who don't understand it. But for me, after months of silence, even repeated words were a welcome sound. It meant Cortland still had language inside him, waiting to come out.

As Cortland's speech continued to develop, we noticed another pattern: palilalia. This is less common than echolalia and involves the repetitive repetition of one's own words or phrases. It was as if Cortland got stuck in a loop, repeating the same sentence over and over.

I won't sugarcoat it - dealing with echolalia and palilalia was challenging. There were times when the constant repetition felt overwhelming. But we persevered, collaborating closely with Cortland's speech therapists to develop strategies to help him move beyond these patterns.

We also battled chronic ear infections, which played a role in his speech delay. We had tubes placed in his ears, which helped. Then we got a great Speech therapist, and she collaborated hard with him. When we lost her due to Cortland's age transition, God sent us an Angel in Kathleen Whelan.

One approach that worked well was using "starter sentences." We'd begin with a phrase like "I want some _____" and encourage Cortland to fill in the blank. If he needed help, we'd use visual aids. This method helped bridge the gap between repetitive speech and original, meaningful communication.

Almost overnight, it seemed, Cortland found his voice. The echolalia began to fade, replaced by real, meaningful communication. Hearing him say "Mommy" again, or tell me about his day, still brings tears to my eyes. And when he says "I love Mommy"? There's nothing quite like it.

Progress wasn't always linear. We've had periods of regression, where it felt like we were losing ground. But each time, we've been able to draw on our toolkit of strategies to help Cortland find his voice again. While I know the challenges that we will more than likely face with regression down the road, it is fulfilling to know that we have tools in place that we can resort back to, and work at correcting him.

This experience has taught me that textbook solutions don't always apply. Every child with autism is unique, and what works for one might not work for another. It's crucial to stay flexible, to keep trying new approaches, and to celebrate every bit of progress, no matter how small.

In our household and in #CortlandsWorld, Autism does not define Cortland – he has shown the world that he defines it! He shows us daily what determination looks like, what joy feels like, and how love sounds in all its forms. Memories like this send a gentle reminder that no matter what Autism and the co-morbid conditions that come along with it, they don't stand a chance with this kid.

To other parents navigating autism and language disorders: it's okay if your child's path doesn't look like anyone else's. Trust your instincts, work closely with your therapy team, and celebrate every victory, no matter how small. Your child has a voice - sometimes we just need to listen a little differently to hear it.

Our path isn't always easy, but it's ours. And I'm grateful every day to be Cortland's mom, to be chosen for this journey. In #CortlandsWorld, we're learning, growing, and finding our voice together and we hope that through this blog, our hope is to educate people so that there is understanding, and from that understanding, acceptance and love are born.