Unapologetically Embracing Autism

Dear Neurotypical Community I need you to understand something fundamental: you cannot spank the autism out of my child. This isn't about discipline or punishment or "tough love." Autism is not misbehavior to be corrected through physical punishment – it's a neurological difference that makes my child experience the world in unique and valuable ways. Let me explain what actually happens when you witness what you might call a "behavior issue." As parents of autistic children, we become detectives – skilled observers who must carefully analyze patterns and triggers over time. We use what professionals call the ABCs of behavior: - Antecedent (what happened before?) - Behavior (what actually occurred?) - Consequence (what happened after?) When you see a meltdown, you're only witnessing the "B" – the behavior. What you don't see is the careful detective work we've done to understand the "A" – the antecedent or trigger that caused t...

Being a single parent is challenging. Being a single parent of a child with autism adds another layer of complexity. This week has tested us both as illness swept through our home, leaving me trying to care for my sick child while fighting off my own illness. The Detective Game My 10-year-old son Cortland has autism, and one of our unique challenges is his high pain tolerance. When something hurts, his automatic response is "no" – even when I can see he's struggling. This week, I've had to become a detective, reading between the lines of his behaviors and responses, trying to piece together what's really going on with his health. When illness strikes – whether it's a cold, flu, COVID, RSV, or strep – the usual parenting playbook goes out the window. I can't simply ask, "Does your throat hurt?" and get an accurate answer. Instead, I watch for subtle changes in his behavior, monitor his eating patterns, and look for any signs that might tell me wha...

Words have power. They shape perceptions, influence behaviors, and can either build bridges or create barriers in our communities. Today, I want to address a word that continues to persist in casual conversation despite its deeply harmful impact – particularly on individuals with autism and other neurodevelopmental conditions. As the mother of a child on the autism spectrum, I've witnessed firsthand how casual insensitivity can leave lasting wounds. Recently, I've noticed an increasing tendency for people – even those close to us – to use the r-word in everyday conversation, sometimes even in the presence of my son. This experience has prompted me to speak up about why this word needs to be permanently retired from our vocabulary. Understanding the Historical Context The r-word began as a medical term but evolved into a slur used to demean and belittle people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. What many people don't realize is that this word carries generatio...

As the mother of a child with autism, I've learned that silence serves no one. Today, I'm choosing to speak openly about our journey – not just the triumphs, but the very real challenges we face when support systems break down. My son Cortland was diagnosed with autism at age 3, after being prescreened at 2. For eight years now, I've navigated the complex world of therapy appointments, insurance battles, and the constant advocacy that comes with being a special needs parent. Through these years, I've seen both the best and worst of our healthcare system. I've been blessed to work with dedicated professionals who have shown up consistently for my child, rain or shine. These therapists and care providers have become our lifeline – attending every scheduled session (barring illness), making crucial referrals, and supporting our family through each challenge. They've demonstrated what true dedication to special needs children looks like. But recently, we've expe...